Guest Post by By Amy Waeschle
I often suffer through a small crisis when I introduce myself. “I’m a writer,” is how it starts, though I usually can’t stop there. “ . . . And a surfer, and a mom, and . . . ” I usually add. I can’t help myself. These parts of me are all wrapped together.
Many of my friends struggle with this concept as well, and the impossibility of how to have enough time for it all. How does one prioritize? I find this especially difficult as a surfer. I don’t live in a beachfront surf shack, so I can’t just sneak out and enjoy a session when the waves look good. My nearest wave is a 2-4 hour drive, so if I go surfing, it’s an all-day trip and my family usually comes along.
I love that my kids are starting to surf; it’s made our family bond even tighter. But what about me—me, the surfer? How do I carve out time for my surfing? What’s even more difficult is the very real possibility that even if I find a way to go to the coast for a day without my entourage it’s entirely possible there will be no waves to surf when I get there. The opposite also happens. The perfect swell arrives on a Tuesday afternoon when I’ve already committed to volunteering or a work function or even something good, like a massage or a haircut. The modern woman can’t afford to be a deadbeat by cancelling everything in order to surf.
One group of Australian moms solved this by starting a mom’s surfing club. They arrive at the beach on a prearranged day and watch each other’s kids while the moms trade off surfing. I wish I had lived in Australia when my kids were little! I have friends that I run with and walk with, but surfing is different. I can run in all kinds of weather and conditions. I can’t surf when it’s flat.
A few years ago, I went on a surf yoga retreat. It was coed, which was fine, and more yoga than surfing, which I probably needed, even though I was disappointed by the low wave count. Traveling alone doesn’t bother me, but it was nice to arrive and have a crew to surf and hang with. This kind of experience is high on my list of things to try again, though next time I will make sure surfing is the main course, not the side dressing.
During the years when my kids were little, I didn’t surf very much at all. The pain of not being able to surf, even just a little, nearly broke me. But that’s changing, and I am able fit more surfing into my life again, and more writing, and adventuring. Because of this, I discovered that I need a tool to help keep me balanced. Some days, I feel like I’m spinning my wheels because I’m playing too much. Other days I feel super productive but miss my workout because I’m being too focused. Recently, I listened to a podcast (a great timesaver, by the way—I can listen while running, driving, cooking) interview of a life coach who helps busy women. She talked about how everything in our lives is important, and that’s why we have such a hard time prioritizing. Her golden nugget was for women to decide what on our list was also urgent—meaning there would be consequences if it didn’t get done that day. This has helped me immensely. I schedule my day around the most urgent item on my to-do list, whether it’s going for a 10-mile run, interviewing a source for a story, writing, or baking bread. Sometimes I just need to go surfing and no other substitute will do. This counts as urgent.
As women, our job is to not only take care of everyone, but to take care of ourselves, too. This is especially hard when we’re surfers, because though surfing counts as self-care, it’s sometimes impossible to schedule. Making time for it doesn’t have to be a struggle, thought it might take planning and patience. The important part is giving ourselves permission to make it count.
Amy Waeschle is a surf and adventure writer and the author of Going Over the Falls, and Chasing Waves, A Surfer’s Tale of Obsessive Wandering. Contact her at www.amywaeschle.com.